Get it right up yis!

‘If you will not be decent, then I will be indecent! Get it up yis!’

And so, for surely the first time in the history of the new Scottish parliament, with one defiant pelvic thrust, a pubic wig was unveiled. The second I saw it, I recognized the kind of synthetic fur provided in craft kits. Turns out, I’m unusually sharp. Reporters and politicians could only speculate about the authenticity of the pubic hair. Some didn’t know a vulva from a vagina.

I was moved by Elaine Miller’s outburst. Watching her, I felt like one of those boys at the end of Dead Poets Society – imagined if like them, we’d shown our solidarity one by one...

‘Oh no! I forgot my fake muff.’

‘Go au naturel!’

‘But I’ve not trimmed…’

‘Has Elaine Miller taught you nothing! A thick muff is a sign of fertility and health. Get it out! If Jordan Gray can smash their own chipolata on live TV, you can do this!’

The parliament was, fortunately, spared this.

On 21 December, as I made my way through to the Scottish parliament, I listened to Elaine Miller’s YouTube. At the end of her piece, she drew parallels between where we are now and the unrest leading up to the French revolution. When she talked about civil unrest, I was thinking she meant the kind of thing Ghandi might do. Turns out, she meant that.

The ‘think of the children’ refrain came, of course. She was accused of flashing children because they could have been in the gallery. I didn’t see any proximate to her and frankly, kids are exposed to far worse on every trip to the toy shop, where sexualized dolls are the norm. At least Eileen’s look is achievable.

I might once have called the stunt exhibitionism, however women have years of not being listened to. Finally with one merkin, we had some attention.

You Never Listen!

I couldn’t be labelled a transphobe, or so I thought. I’d put bookmarks together featuring quotes from trans memoirs and the Trans Teen Survival Guide. I’d booked and promoted trans author Juno Dawson and a small photography exhibition of trans people in the workplace and more. I explained all this to the senior exec, a young women who I thought might listen to my story of discrimination.

When she did address me, her words were;

‘So you don’t want to promote trans.’

Like the oompa loompa, concerned that kids might get hurt on their tour of the chocolate factory, only to be accused of not wanting to promote chocolate.

What happened was this: A male moderator, had kicked me and a colleague off an LGBT forum for asking questions . He had told the exec, that we were transphobes. We knew there was no evidence of this but nothing we could say, would stop her parroting his words back at us. She couldn’t tell us what we had done wrong, she couldn’t listen.

Then I went to the Lib Dem spokesperson.

She seemed to listen when I expressed some of the same concerns;

1. Demonizing parents who express concern as opposed to affirmation.

2. Glossing over all potential medical risks.

3. Harmful stereotypes going unchallenged

4. Children being encouraged to transition due to unchallenged homophobia.

She kept coming back to the one trans women she knew who was keen to remove the spousal veto.

‘Well it’s no trouble if their wife supports their transition.’

‘Ah but she doesn’t.’

‘Why should she be forced to stay married? If she doesn’t want that, the solution is to divorce and then transition.’

This, it seemed, hadn’t occurred to her. She expressed the opinion that if I only met this friend, the scales would fall from my eyes. I had at this point, met many trans people and having transitioned well into adulthood after thorough care, the concerns I had did not apply to them and in many cases they shared them.

The spokesperson promised to get back to me. She didn’t.

A few months later, the woman’s refuge appeared in the local news. The head of the refuge was concerned about pressure to house the male bodied. The police commissioner supported and defended the refuge but the article included an attack from a mutual friend and councilor. He accused the commissioner and therefore the refuge itself, of being transphobic.

Having failed to provide the promised response, I forwarded the article to the spokesperson. She claimed to know nothing about it.

How, I asked, can you justify an attack on a refuge? Do you approve of this?

No answer came. The councillor in question, continued his attacks freely and so I must assume the answer was yes.

So I left the Lib Dems

I had joined the Lib Dems after the EU referendum. A few years later I explained that I could not, as a feminist, remain within the party that attacked a women’s refuge. The response to my resignation gave details of a teenage girl, so much happier having transitioned. It asked why couldn’t I let him be?

I found myself having to explain the argument I wasn’t making, before I could explain the argument I was making.

Conversations with friends

“I know what you’re going to say, I know I’m not going to change your mind. Trans women are women.” (This conversation will not be had.)

It is men, in my case anyway, who have gone on the attack. The women who support them, reframe the argument into another one entirely. If that isn't possible, they stonewall women like me. They present us and respond to us as though we are the uppity conservatives fearing the unusual, though that can’t be what they see.

I’m sick to death of this delicate blend of snobbery, misogyny and condescension. If a ladies merkin breaks the spell of this selective hypnosis, I support it.

Thank you Eileen. Get it right up yis!